And He Should Know...

Over the next few posts I will quote the carefully considered thoughts of Scotland's new minister for arts and culture, Mike Russell, on his homeland.

On ABERDEEN Mr Russell says:

"It feels no more hospitable than when I first came here – there is still a snell wind that blows through the town, and dark corners by the harbour that make passers-by walk more quickly." Scots know Doric ... It is hard ... to penetrate it at times, but is has a lilt – and a bluntness – all of its own."

Betty Ford Should Move To Scotland

The number of patients treated for drink problems in Scottish hospitals has reached an all-time high, according to official figures. There were 42,430 alcohol-related discharges from hospitals in 2007-08, a 20% increase over five years. The figures, published by health statisticians ISD Scotland, said there were 6,817 cases of alcoholic liver disease at hospitals in 2007-08, and 4,646 cases of alcohol poisoning.

There's Just So Many To Choose From

A Fife town has been selected for an undesirable architectural prize for its "depressed investment-starved centre". Glenrothes has been named the most dismal place in Scotland in the 2009 Carbuncles Awards. It beat off stiff competition from Motherwell in Lanarkshire and New Cumnock in Ayrshire.

There's Far Too Many To Count?

The Scottish Government is refusing to hand over details of the drug problem in Scotland, effectively "blocking" a UK-wide policy that would force drug addicts to seek help or lose benefits. Work and Pensions Secretary James Purnell says it is unacceptable for taxpayers' money to be effectively handed straight to drug dealers across Britain. Purnell claims that when UK officials tried to find out how many crack and heroin addicts were on benefits in Scotland, they were denied the information by the Scottish Government.

Oh How I Smile...

As promised, the latest offering from our guest Scottish Rhyming Poetry expert:

This rhyme is for you father
On your special day
For it contains all the words
That I wish to say

You care for me you nurtured me
And taught me how to grow
Into the person I am today
Grateful from head to toe

And during the times of my life
When I buried my head in the sand
You taught me how to stand up tall
And guided me with a gentle hand

So on this special occasion
The least that I can do
Is give to you this birthday poem
To show that I love you

Who Said The Scots Were Tight?

NHS Orkney are struggling with a deficit of almost half a million pounds for the last financial year and bosses are trying to save £3million. As a result, the mortuary of Balfour Hospital in Kirkwall has levied a charge of £30 plus VAT to view bodies in a hospital mortuary.

God Save The Queen

There is no authorised version of the National Anthem as the words are a matter of tradition. Additional verses have been added down the years. The first concrete record of its actual use belongs to the stage and 1745, when it was sung at two concerts in London's Drury Lane and Covent Garden theaters. Scotland had risen in favor of Bonnie Prince Charlie. Marshal Wade was in the North to put down the rebellion. A special verse was added which goes:

Lord, grant that Marshal Wade
May by Thy mighty aid
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush
And like a torrent rush
Rebellious Scots to crush!
God save the King.